Q : I struggle with accepting myself. It’s my biggest flaw, I think-I’ve been sick for a long time and I just dream about being a different person. Like, literally having a new body. I just want to love myself but it’s so hard to do that with my condition. I hope this isn’t a loaded question but does anybody have any advice for me? How do I accept this beast as a part of my life and make it a positive thing? It’s the ONE thing holding me back in my life now. If I could heal (remission) I can be unstoppable.

A : I don’t know if this is your answer, but for me, I have to separate my physical body from my brain and my soul. I am not my body. The essence of me is not defined by the function of my physical self. My physical self is damaged by things that have happened to me. But my brain and soul and essence are still undamaged. I try to express what’s in my heart and soul on a daily basis and just live with and accept what’s happening with my physical being.

I will not for one second pretend like I know what you’re going through. Nor will I say that I have the magic answer and know exactly what needs to be done. But, there are few things I want to bring up, and you can tell me whether or not they help.

I’m assuming you’re already doing everything medically possible to help, so there’s no need going down that road. Let’s focus on the mental side of things instead.

First off, I know this is going to sound trite, but ask yourself – what good has come, or can come, from this situation?

Maybe it will help you learn something you’ve been ignoring for a long time. Perhaps it will give you the insight you need to help others later. Or, maybe it’s just your opportunity to finally prove to yourself how physically, mentally, and emotionally strong you actually are. Who knows, you’re the only one who can answer it honestly. As my late grandfather always said, “the good is always there, it’s just up to you to find it”. Again this may sound trite, but I have yet to find a situation where I can honestly prove him wrong.

Secondly, think about this. Look at the Zen Pencils comic from #2, about the two wolves. The point of this story is that we don’t want to fight what’s bad, but rather, grow what’s good.

Therefore, the lesson is that we don’t want to “Fight Sickness”. That still keeps us locked to the thought of sickness. Instead we want to “Be (or Get) Healthy.” You can change those words to match what resonates with you, but I hope you get the point. The actions of “being healthy” would automatically include any medical treatments needed to help your situation, in addition to things like eating high quality food, getting sleep, and exercising. It would also mean taking care of your mental health and practicing doing good for both yourself and others. Write down whatever a “Healthy” lifestyle looks like to you and start practicing it. I don’t know if that will do it, but it certainly wont hurt to try.